Jack Asks Jill for Wine Recommendations on their Annual Trip up the Hill

The following material is not suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion advised: sex, violence, alcohol, and Republicans.

Jack and Jill are two friends who like to reconnect each year by hiking a certain hill.  

“I love your hiking shoes,” comments Jill as they begin their most recent trek.  

“Oh, thanks, they’re super comfortable!  My sister gave them to me for Christmas.  She was like, Jack, you’re all the time hiking that hill with Jill.  I thought you should have some better shoes for it.”

“That’s cool.  We have been hiking together for some years now—which I treasure.  How long has it been?”

“Oh gosh, I couldn’t even tell you,” said Jack.  “What I’m surprised about is how many people know it.  I get asked by the most random people, ‘Oh, are you the Jack that hikes the hill with Jill?’  I mean, how do they know?  We both have a small circle of friends.  Anyway, hey, we always end up talking about water on this trip—I wondered today if we could talk about wine.  Could you give me some wine recommendations?"

“I could, yeah, sure,” said Jill obviously beginning now to pant for breath.

“How did you learn so much about wine, anyway?” He asked to get her mind going.

“Umm . . . “ Jill stopped to catch her breath and looked Jack in the eyes with a gruntled Hollywood smile.  “I’ll give you one clue:  it wasn’t a miracle.”  She slowly began to move again. “Do you know what wine I’d like?” she asked.

“What? Or . . is it which?”

“I’d like to drink the wine Republicans are drinking these days.  I’m wondering how I get in on the vintages that are so good you lose all sense of reality!  Know anyone at the CPAC conference this weekend?”

Jack laughed.  “No, I’m not in those circles.  I’m an old-fashioned Republican.  You know that.”